A Warning
In this week’s edition of Large Actor I am going to be talking about the experience of plugging stuff on live television. The reason for this is that not only do I have something to plug this week but I will also be going on live television this weekend to plug it (all of this is at time of publication. If you’re reading this next week you missed it. You should subscribe to the Substack so you get every article emailed to you at time of release. Plug plug plug.)
So let’s define the term before we get too deep in the weeds here.
What is “Plug”?
Anyone who is self employed particularly in the arts will know that getting people to look at stuff you do is hard work (see the constantly diminishing people who read these articles no matter how many times I post about it on X, formerly known as Twitter, or Instagram plug plug plug). Social media is awash with people exactly in your shoes, hawking their wares and jostling for position. So if you are given an opportunity to sell your wares on a platform bigger than your own, you take it. This is known as plugging.
As my career started to become more of note I have learned that there is an entire invisible industry dedicated to getting their clients on your screens and in your ears. For a not insignificant price they will get your book, album or tour (and you as well, presumably) on the Sunday Brunch couch, bleary eyed on This Morning, in the Off Menu dream restaurant or, if you’re doing particularly well, living it up with Judi Dench on Graham Norton. They also do fine work at getting their clients at pressers or premieres just so they can be seen. Being seen is important. This is why Maura Higgins was at the premiere of Magic Mike’s Last Dance whereas I, who was actually in the film, was not. I tried to talk to my Close Personal Friend Channing “Hi, I’m Chan” Tatum about it but he never replies to my thrice daily calls (shout out to Chan).
Now, I’m pretending to be bitter for comic effect there. I’ve never been all that bothered with the mechanisms of celebrity. I don’t schmooze. I don’t have a publicist. For my own personal projects (of which there are vanishingly few) I promote them on the social media platforms people are kind enough to follow me on. Occasionally I put out a call for any independent podcasts who fancy having a guest on to get in touch. I’m aware that I have done a few bits and bobs in my career that are worth talking about so I’m happy to give up my time both because I enjoy podcasting as a medium and also because if even a couple of my followers give it a listen on the back of me being on it I’ve done a good thing for someone who is on the same grind I’m on. Also I’m a dreadful narcissist who loves talking about himself and will do it at length for free. Thank you for subscribing to my Substack. Plug plug plug.
All of this is to say that there very few times I pop up in relation to promotion. One is being at award ceremonies of which I have been to exactly two, both for After Life, both in a winning effort, once to celebration and once to outright hostility in the room. So I don’t really enjoy them all that much. Another is red carpet events for film releases which, as noted, I’m not always invited to anyway and when I am are the most unbelievably stressful things to do. Contrary to what many people may believe about a professional actor, I’m not a fan of being the centre of attention. It took me years to stop wanting the ground to swallow me up if I got recognised in the street. It happened very rarely when I started but I saw it as an ordeal nevertheless. It happens about once a week now (more if I go into London) and while I’m getting better at it it still makes me nervous. There’s probably an article in this. Sound off in the comments if you want to read about that. Plug.
Anyway, red carpet events are like getting recognised in the street except a million times louder. Someone with a clipboard shuffles you through a barrage of journalists asking you things like “what was it like filming the film” or “was filming the film good” while people are yelling and bits of paper are being pushed into your hand to sign and people want to grab selfies but also there’s a wall of about thirty photographers who all want you to look at them but that’s quite hard to do because they are all shouting that at once so you don’t know where to look and you never feel comfortable in a suit at the best of times and you’re acutely aware you’re the worst dressed person on the thing and even though that shouldn’t matter you’re so conscious of being looked at and you think maybe you should have done some more sit ups so you wouldn’t have to squeeze into a button down and the photographers are shouting again but the clipboard person has a hand on your shoulder and is moving you along again and finally you’re inside the screening and your face hurts from forcing on a rictus grin and you promise yourself you’ll never do it again but of course you will because by the time the next one comes along you’ve forgotten what it was like and you just hear the word red carpet and it has that kind of razzle dazzle effect on you so honestly I was actually okay with not going to the Magic Mike premiere because if you wanna talk about better looking people.. sorry, I blacked out there for a bit. There’s a large wall of text there but I never edit anything so hopefully it’s coherent. I don’t really enjoy red carpet events all that much.
The only other place you’re find me plugging is when I’ve been asked to by the company that made a thing I’m in. Generally this doesn’t happen. As I laid out in my article on being a Large Actor in a Small Actor’s world (read my articles, plug plug plug) I’m generally a tertiary or at best secondary character so the promotional duties will go to the primary performer, as is correct. However Horrible Histories is a more egalitarian effort so I was very much on the list to plug our great show. I was asked to travel to Glasgow to take part in Saturday Mash Up for CBBC. In the words of Good Ol’ JR: “It’s live, pal.”
Live Television
I really, genuinely, had no idea what to expect. A two and half hour magazine style show where, along with Jess Ransom (shout out to Jess) and Britain’s Got Talent Winner Viggo Venn (shout out to Viggo), I would be promoting an upcoming episode of Horrible Histories (it’s the NHS one, you can watch it here on Iplayer. plug plug plug) while also taking part in a bunch of games in an effort to not get slimed at the end. Live. People who watched it at the time will know how that ended.
In the days leading up to it I was bricking it. This was different to going up to collect an award in a hostile room. This was different to the audio visual assault of the red carpet. This was different, even, to my experience of being “live”. Years of theatre, stand up and performing drained away when I realised I would be on telly with absolutely zero safety net.
For those hoping for a horror story though, no such luck. Everyone working on that show was so kind and helpful. The hosts, Joe Tasker and Shereen Cutkelvin (shout out to Joe and Shereen) were beacons of professionalism and ably guided this Large Actor through what ended up being a thoroughly enjoyable morning. It was breakneck but a brilliant experience. Heck, even when the guy who was looking after me (shout out to Ross) informed me that the slime was cold to the touch and I wasn’t allowed to swear or blaspheme as it splattered into my face, body and left ear I didn’t even have a diva strop! Which brings us to why I wrote all this drivel in the first place.
A Call To Arms
This weekend I am going back on Saturday Mash Up. I was kindly invited back to be the face of a new episode of Horrible Histories that comes out on Friday on CBBC (it’s also on the iPlayer TODAY if you’re reading this as it goes out). So this is actually where the real plug is. If you fancy watching me get slimed again (let’s be realistic, I’m physically incapable of pulling off the tasks and in the public vote I rub people up the wrong way, I’m getting slimed again) set your VCRs to 9am on CBBC this Saturday the 4th of November.
If you fancy watching Horrible Histories, and who doesn’t even though I’ve been reliably informed whenever I bring this up online that we’re not as good as the original cast and never will be, a brand new episode about the Gunpowder Plot goes up on the iPlayer today and can be recorded with your trusty VCR at 6pm on Friday 3rd of November. It’s really funny. Trust me, I was there.
Let me know if you watch them/enjoy them. I am so lucky to able to act for a living alongside the most amazing people and I love being able to share the fruits of that with you.1 But for now:
PLUGS!
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Come watch the Large Actor get slimed!
During the writing of this, adverts for the first drama I’ve been in called Boat Story started slithering onto BBC programming with “coming soon” in ominous lettering. I’ll talk more about that nearer the time but suffice it to say I’m VERY excited.
Took me a while to find time to sit down and absorb this (didn't want to skim it). Another rollicking good read, thanks Ethan! You mentioned (I.E. plugged!) Boat Story (just watched episode 1 last night, absolutely loving it so far). I had the pleasure of meeting you while working on Boat Story as an SA: it was the fete scene where the baked goods sold out - I'm trying to avoid plot spoilers here! I'm the chap who formerly fronted a glam rock tribute band, in case that rings any bells for you. I'm curious as to whether you're currently Maldon's second-favourite son, or whether you've reclaimed the crown from SR with the success of your recent projects! I'd love to read an article with your thoughts on "the power of No / the danger of No" - I.E. declining certain job opportunities, telling yourself "No, I'm better than that," and those decisions having a positive/ negative impact on your career.